i sort of, almost, kind of, but not really, miss that boy.

arg. ::attacks self::

he is just so cute. i wish none of this would've ever happened. i wish that i could still just be his friend. and have that be all.

i've known him since my freshman year of high school and we've been through a lot together. it wouldn't be so hard to forgive him if he wouldn't have told everyone those lies.

i'm afraid everyone thinks i'm a whore and a bitch. and that girl really intimidates me, which is so dumb because she is so little and soft-spoken, and i could easily beat her up, i think [but not that i would].

i just hate for people to hate me.

bleh. the song "shadowboxer" by fiona apple fits that boy so well. i guess now i will have to share the lyrics with you guys. ::sigh:: ...

"Once my lover, now my friend

What a cruel thing to pretend

What a cunning way to condescend

Once my lover, and now my friend

Oh, you creep up like the clouds

And you set my soul at ease

Then you let your love abound

And you bring me to my knees

Oh, it's evil, babe, the way you let your grace enrapture me

When well you know, I'd be insane - to ever let that dirty game recapture me

You made me a shadowboxer, baby

I wanna be ready for what you do

I been swinging all around me

'Cause I don't know when you're gonna make your move

Oh, your gaze is dangerous

And you fill your space so sweet

If I let you get too close

You'll set your spell on me

So darlin' I just wanna say

Just in case I don't come through

I was on to every play

I just wanted you

But, oh, it's so evil, my love, the way you've no reverence to my concern

So I'll be sure to stay wary of you, love, to save the pain of

Once my flame and twice my burn

You made me a shadowboxer, baby

I wanna be ready for what you do

I been swinging all around me

'Cause I don't know when you're gonna make your move"

yeah,...so that's about all for now. <3

rock &roll